Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Sara vs Sara

Disclaimer: this is an observation, not a complaint. I love my life. I love Sam, and Sam is my life, so therefore I love my life.  It just occurred to me as I lay in bed last night that my entire life reflects that feeling of being too tired to do anything like read a book, but too awake to sleep: the upshot of which is that one ends up doing the enemy of sleep - thinking.

I currently occupy that same no-man's land  - I am neither one thing nor the other. The twenty-something-year-old women I know all fit into one of two categories: footloose and fancyfree, enjoying impromptu days out and alcohol fuelled nights; or settled down, enjoying quiet nights in with a partner and family day trips.  And yet I am neither of these. I cannot share the impulsive life of my non-parent friends, as I am tied to the house from 6pm each evening when Sam goes to bed. But nor do I enjoy sharing those evenings with anyone else. I cannot indulge in last-minute weekend shennanigans as everything requires planning and arrangement, but nor is there much appeal in days or meals out with Sam, without an adult or older child to provide some semblance of conversation!

I suppose I get the best of both worlds...at the weekends I can (with enough warning) go out with my friends, and in the week I can enjoy time with my son. But in reality I feel like a fraud if I go out, as I should be a responsible mother at all times; and I feel like a fraud when I meet up with other friends with children, as they all live in their little family units and Sam and I are like loose ended tag alongs.

There's only one solution - Sam needs to hurry up and start talking properly so that his company feels more like a pleasure and less like a commitment!  Until then, I shall continue to drag my mother along so that Sam and I can enjoy a "family holiday", and pack Sam off to his father's at the weekends so that I can see those limited friends that can be bothered to wait until I'm free: I swear, the next person who texts on a midweek night asking me if I'm free to do something will wish they hadn't....

S xx

Thursday, 17 May 2012

Next cognitive level

So, Sam's signing something. And I don't understand. I ask for a clue:
"What's it like, Sam?"
"Like aeroplane, Mummy."
"Oh, helicopter?"

Amazing, he's learning to categorise objects and knows that there are elements in common. Similarly the other day with Nanny, moving things from one bowl to another - Nanny wasn't responding to Sam saying "one", so he helped her out with the clue "one, two, three, Nanny". Clever boy :)

S xx

Sunday, 13 May 2012

What's happening to me?

Got dragged to the cinema to see Avengers Assemble last night - and I really enjoyed it. What's going on, I don't like sci-fi...! Lots of funny moments though, and I'm now looking forward to seeing Prometheus when it comes out. Had a lovely lunch out and then a wander around town before absorbing the sunshine next to the Brayford Pool until it was time for the film - the wander around town involved heading to both downhill and uphill Lincoln, hard work in high heels I can tell you, and I have some pretty impressive blisters as proof!

Today I've made up for my gallavanting of last weekend by finally catching up on the housework and mowing the lawn (man was that a hard job, I've not done it for a few weeks due to all the rain we've had, and it had certainly been growing in that time!). Then this evening I fancied something sweet for pudding, and decided I could justify eating custard if I added eggs and made it high protein :) So here are my little egg custards tarts, minus the high fat pastry (and the nutmeg, which I don't like):

Yummy :)

S xx

Monday, 7 May 2012

Weekend away

Sam has been in Norfolk with Lis and Alan this weekend, whilst I went on a jolly to Leeds with Lilly. We went to an outdoor gig with performances from Sway, Wretch32, and headlined by Example. It rained on and off the whole way there and as we shopped in the afternoon, but thankfully it stayed dry all evening, although it was somewhat colder than we anticipated May being when we booked in December! Great gig, and great weekend away with Lilly :)

It sounds like Sam has been having a great time with Nanny and Grandad, and I'm sure Lis will blog about it later!  But I just had to share this text I received from Lis, which brought a tear to my eye - I swear my little boy is a real life angel, sent to bring joy to this world:

- - OMG a random man in the cafe (not a regular) just bothered to come and say 
how watching and listening to Sam over lunch had made his day and 
how he would never forget it and how wonderful he is. - -

S xx